just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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