I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
