if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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