oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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