I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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