white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
