i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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