I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
