Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
