im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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