she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
