theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
worst night to have a conscience
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
