She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
