do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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