That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
