By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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