Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
