All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
