There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
