Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
