yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
