I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
