My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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