I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
