you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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