At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
