well I can't set my house on fire every night
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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