Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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