is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
