she was so not down for the gang bang
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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