Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
