I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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