Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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