Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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