I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
