$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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