So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
