She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The struggles of a small town man whore
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
