med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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