So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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