I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
