we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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