Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
