Sponge bath it is.
i think my mom watched the whole time
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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