i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Best friends brother. Beat that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
