Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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