FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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