I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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