i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
nutella sex= disaster
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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