And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
