I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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