i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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