I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize