even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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