People in love make me want to vomit
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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