So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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