I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
