even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
