You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
