Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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