Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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