...so i touched it.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
