so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
