i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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