Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
